10 Shocking Statistics about Children and Divorce
I’ve compiled these statistics about children and divorce for the I’ll believe it when I see it type of people who don’t accept anything as true unless it’s from a credible source or it’s been PROVEN in a convincing study.
If you are NOT one of these people, you need to read this anyway.
These days most people accept divorce as a way of life, completely unaware of the damage they are doing to their children. Tell your friends, acquaintances and co-workers to read these shocking statistics about divorce and children. It may help save a child’s life down the road. (And no, I’m not figuratively speaking either.just keep reading to find out what I mean.)
The Rising Statistics of Divorce and Children
1. Half of all American children will witness the breakup of a parent’s marriage. Of these, close to half will also see the breakup of a parent’s second marriage.
(Furstenberg, Peterson, Nord, and Zill, Life Course)
2. Among the millions of children who have seen their parents divorce, one of every 10 will also live through three or more parental marriage breakups.
(The Abolition of Marriage, Gallagher)
3. Forty percent of children growing up in America today are being raised without their fathers. (Wade, Horn and Busy, Fathers, Marriage and Welfare Reform Hudson Institute Executive Briefing, 1997)
4. Of all children born to married parents this year, fifty percent will experience the divorce of their parents before they reach their 18th birthday.
(Fagan, Fitzgerald, Rector, The Effects of Divorce On America)
The EMOTIONALLY Damaging Effect – Statistics of divorce and children
5. Studies in the early 1980’s showed that children in repeat divorces earned lower grades and their peers rated them as less pleasant to be around.
(Andrew J. Cherlin, Marriage, Divorce, Remarriage Harvard University Press 1981)
6. Teenagers in single-parent families and in blended families are three times more likely to need psychological help within a given year.
(Peter Hill Recent Advances in Selected Aspects of Adolescent Development Journal of Child Psychology and Psychiatry 1993)
7. Compared to children from homes disrupted by death, children from divorced homes have more psychological problems.
(Robert E. Emery, Marriage, Divorce and Children’s Adjustment Sage Publications, 1988)
These statistics about children and divorce are pretty shockingaren’t they? The DEATH of a parent is LESS devastating to a child than a DIVORCE. (Even I wouldn’t believe this if I didn’t see the statistic myself.)
The PHYSICALLY Damaging Effects – Statistics of divorce and children
8. Children of divorce are at a greater risk to experience injury, asthma, headaches and speech defects than children whose parents have remained married.
(Dawson, Family Structure and Children’s Health and Well Being National Health Interview Survey on Child Health, Journal of Marriage and the Family)
9. Following divorce, children are fifty percent more likely to develop health problems than two parent families.
(Angel, Worobey, Single Motherhood and Children’s Health)
10. Children living with both biological parents are 20 to 35 percent more physically healthy than children from broken homes.
(Dawson, Family Structure and Children’s Health and Well-being Journal of Marriage and the Family)
I can’t stress how important it is to know all the facts before you get a divorce. Your child’s life is in your hands. If you’re seriously considering divorce and you haven’t attempted to save your marriage, I’ve just given you 18 reasons why it’s at least worth a try to keep your family together.
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25 Responses to “10 Shocking Statistics about Children and Divorce”
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Back in the 90's, Larry was suffering MISERABLY in a loveless marriage.
He needed a way to reduce the stress, anxiety and tension in his marriage. Not because he was devoted to his wi.....
Well personally, I do come from a divorced family. My parents got divorced when I was 7 years old and I must say it was devastating. I think the effects of divorce varies from person to person. Some people suffer a lot more from it than others. My sister for example, ever since the divorce she suffers from eating disorders and is constantly going to therapy. She is always depressed and has a pretty bad relationship with my dad. On the other hand, I didn’t suffer from any disorders. I went to divorce therapy sessions for a while but that was it.
The only thing that bothered me was that I didn’t have a good relationship with my dad. And that our family wasn’t whole. Sure I would rather there be a divorce than a horrible family that argued all the time. But the fact that I don’t have a dad in my life still hurts. SO I guess it just goes back to choosing wisely who you marry.
I believe that we humans have a tendency to play the victim role. Bad things happen all the time to people and we have a choice to either get help, look inward and help oursleves or sit with what has been done to you and play the victim. I am not saying that kids ar enot affected by divorce but as parents I feel the focus should be more about building kids self esteem and and self worth up in our children. We tend not to focus on how many of us are walking around damaged goods becasue we have no self love and no tools to cope with change. The truth is that life offers no gaurantees and is constantly changing, that is the one thign I know for sure. We are all walking around doing the best we know how with what we have and sometimes it just isn’t much or enough. Do I want to stay in a relationship and be miserable and teach my kids that they should sacrifice themselves for others? No that is not the message I want to teach but instead to be able to disern when you are being a door mat vs. loving and caring for another human in a healthy fashion. We have a tendency to not be able to find our own voices and strength. If we are not taking responsibility for our own lives today, then who will and who will teach our kids to stand up and not live in fear of what others will think? Who? We have to eveolve…
Wow, this is extremely helpful. Not the article so much as the comments. I am currently in a psychologically abusive marriage and thinking of divorce. We have two small children and being from a broken home myself I am very anxious about getting a divorce. My parent’s divorce was probably one of the worst things that ever happened to me as I can attribute anything bad that ever happened to have come from it. I really don’t want to do that to my kids, but I also don’t want them to have to deal with the same torment that I do by staying in this relationship. But, who’s to say that it won’t just be worse when I’m not around to control the situation when he has visitation. I’d rather take the blow than either of them. It is such a difficult decision to make. If anyone reading this has any advice I’d be more than happy to hear it. I want to be strong and stand up for what I know is right, but I also want to be able to protect my kids as much as possible.
I recently saw a lawyer about a divorce and am not going to feel GUILTY about leaving because of the negative effects it will have on my son. I feel that in my son’s mere 6-years of life he’s seen enough of this NEGATIVE relationship. Staying in an unhealthy relationship will only teach my son 1) To Resent his father; 2) That it’s okay to treat others badly; 3) Unhealthy relationship patterns. I want my son to know what it’s like to have a HEALTHY and HAPPY relationship and will never happen in this household with my husband. My son does not see his parents hug or kiss (unless it’s forced) we don’t talk, as my husband can NEVER discuss anything because of course ” I ” am always wrong or being a ‘bitch’. My husband is ALL about himself and my son and I are obsticles in his life. He has no respect for for or my son. He will walk into the room and just turn the tv to whatever HE wants to watch no matter if my son or I am watching something. He’s shiftless and sits on the couch all night! I think my son will be a happier child in the long run if we separate ourselves from this negative relationship.
PLEASE FEEL FREE TO COMMENT!
These statements are shocking but true. My parents got a divorce when i was 9, and I’ve hated every day since. Now I think of telling my mother that i would rather live with my dad full time, but I am scared what she will say, i hate my life now that i have two, because every time i leave the other house i change into a different person, i wish people would try to work things out more, i know when im older i will try my hardest.
I am from a broken home. My parents divorced when I was 15. I have 3 sisters and two brothers. I am 50 years old now and still remember. Our entire family was destroyed. My older sister severily emotionaly unstable. Another sister married and they fought constantly. She became an alcoholic. Another married at 15 and is now divorced and the kids have been in trouble with the law ever since their dad has been gone.
I myself went through a drug and alcohol rehab center at age 24. My youngest brother is in a penatintuary in New Mexico for involuntary man slaughter and arson.
I have two kids a daughter 17 and a son 13. My wife just filed for a divorce a month ago. I do not want it. I know what damage it done to my family. I am unable to communicate with her because of a restraining order. I can not see my kids for an entire year. I have been with her for 21 years and have never touched her. I do not abuse the kids. I love them all they are my life. I have been in turmoil ever since. We have been through hell together. I made one bad mistake and just like that its over. I have never been able to talk to her this whole time. I only wish there was some way I could tell her that I love her and the kids dearly. And try to talk her out of it. It will destroy all of us.
I agree with what that says, my parents divorced when i was 4, my dad quickly re married and left us for a state almost 300 miles away and by law we had to see him every other weekend, even though we are used to it its still hard.
I agree with what that says, my parents divorced when i was 4, my dad quickly re married and left us for a state almost 300 miles away and by law we had to see him every other weekend, even though we are used to it its still hard.
i agree! i myself am living with out my father. my father is an alcholic, so honestly.. i am very glad he is not part of my life. i even see how my mother strugles to do things for my sister & i. my mother has kidney cancer and wont be here much longer, which makes me angry at my father.
I work in Marriage Ministry and will be doing a workshop on Holidays in December. Children of Divorce could you please help me out by giving me insight into what worked as fair as celebrating the holidays with your divorced families. What was some of the best and worst arrangements? Thanks for your help. Our goal and passion is to eliminate as much pain and sadness in today’s COD as possible. Your experience may help another. Thanks again!
I think that looking at the stats on teh negative effects of a divorce to children without considering the negative effects of remaining married to an alcoholic or an abusive spouseparent is unfair. Of course children are better off with two loving parents who are not substance abusers and who are skilled communicators is best. But, we do not live in a perfect world.
I grew up with 2 parents. The terrible role model of an alcoholic father who was verbally, emotionally, and physically abusive and of a mother who allowed it to continue led me to 3 bad marriages of my own– the last with 3 beautiful children who I want to protect from the same legacy.
Now, I am faced with the choice of staying with an alcoholic or allownig him to put my 3 kids into his car and drink and drive with them every Saturday. Not a choice most of us would like to face.
Had my mother been able to send my father packing when I was young, I would have learned a lesson about strenth and NOT allowing a drunk to mistreat me instead of the crazy tools of how to deal with it and perpetuate the misery.
There are too many variables to look only at the lower economic status or other effects of kids from a divorced home without considering that the poison that comes from that negative person in their lives before AND after the divorce. Unfortunately, divorcing the drunk doesn’t make him evaporate– Most courts will still allow him liberal visitation and not even require a breathalizer on his car. The negative behavior will continue to impact the kids even after the divorce. So, it isn’t the divorce that causees the psychological problems– it is the drunk!
I think that looking at the stats on the negative effects of a divorce to children without considering the negative effects of remaining married to an alcoholic or an abusive spouse/parent is not fair. Of course children are better off with two loving parents who are not substance abusers and who are skilled communicators is best. But, we do not live in a perfect world.
I grew up with 2 parents. The terrible role model of an alcoholic father who was verbally, emotionally, and physically abusive and a mother who allowed it to continue led me into 3 bad marriages of my own– the last with 3 beautiful kids.
Now, I am faced with the choice of staying with an alcoholic or allowing him to put my 3 kids into his car every Saturday.
Not a choice most of us would like to face.
Had my mother been able to send my father packing when I was young, I would have learned a lesson about strenth and NOT allowing a drunk man to mistreat me.
There are too many variables to look only at the lower economic status or other effects of kids from a divorced home without considering that the poison that comes from that negative person in their lives before AND after the divorce. Unfortunately, divorcing the drunk won’t make him evaporate– most courts will still allow him liberal visitation and not require a breathalizer on his car. His nagative behavior will continue to impact kids even after the divorce. So, it isn’t the divorce that causes the psychological problems– it is the drunk!
…it is not the point to try and save a bad marriage…the point is to CHOOSE CAREFULLY with whom you have children with
I’m 14 years old and my parents are going through the process of a divorce, and instead of all that negative stuff it says that happens to children i’ve seen quite the oppisite happen to my family. My siblings and I are closer than ever and we really rely on each other for support. I help out my little brother more with his homework and he has made it into the ALL program (an advanced school) my little sister is in a divorce group for kids at her school and now has made many more friends. Yes money is really really tight now and yes my siblings and I will never grow up with a father supporting us, but now we wont have to hear our parents fighting all the time and we wont have to deal with the abuse my father would always afflict on us. In most ways I think the divorce has strengthened my family while splitting it apart. I really only wish my mom had a better life now. She is stressed with our financial issue and is now working tedious jobs to support our family and have the same holiday hours as we do for school. I love my mom so much more because of the divorce and I respect her because she is such a strong women with a very loving heart and I know she would do anything for my little brother and sister and I.
In addition, when both parents come to the mutual decision to divorce it is always better. The one leaving needs to do whatever is necessary to not only reconcile, but make sure the other spouse wants it as well. I did not have a choice, I did not want my divorce, nor did our kids. Our divorce was a selfish decision by one man. I think it is sad that it takes two people to create a relationship, but only one to end it.
I have read the statistics and can relate. My husband divorced me and we have 4 children. I have seen them go from healthy, wonderful children to argumenatative, rude, and they fight amongst each other more.
I think the key to divorce is it must be a last resort and better for “everyone” involved. In the two happy kids I read about, life before was hard for even them and then life got better. Most parents cannot divorce and be better. I know I went from a stable home to not knowing how to pay bills, that puts stress on the kids. I think that is where kids end up okay vs. not okay. I only hope my kids will be okay, but I don’t see it happening.
That is really close (coming form a child that’s been through a parents divorce) I am now 23 years old my parents divorced when I was young real young. I remembered they would fight all the time and my father would beat us but never to the point where I would have scars well im speaking for my self I have a older brother and a older sister. Yes my father did drink alot and stayed home all day and smoked alot as well.
when my parents where together I remember my father throwing me up in the air and playing soft ball in the back yard. God I miss those days, its true from a son’s point of view, hes father is hes idol to look up to no matter how bad he is. It tore me apart when the split happened and I always thought it was my fault. As time went on I felt like I didn’t have a “home” going from my moms to my dads and I still do feel that today.
As far as seeing my father I don’t, not anymore. My mother remarried to a person that has never been a father before. The first year was alright but got worse after that. It got to the point where my mother was going to break up again and I was ok with it, I was used to it, not having a father there at all. We moved to a other state across the U.S. because my step father had a job transfer. When I found out that day that we where moving I started getting stomach ulcers and I throw up.
I do have learning disabilities and have a speech problem(don’t understand how that relates to parents divorces but I have it). School was really tough, I couldn’t keep up on the work so I was forced everyday to stay in at lunch(this was from 3rd-5th grade) and worked on the work that I didn’t finish. I felt islolated from everyone and at first I hated it but as time went by I felt protected and didn’t talk to anyone at school or when I was home. I just stayed in the basment and played computer games. when I moved and went into high school I played sports. I played football my first year of high school and didn’t like it. so I tried cross country and track and field, I loved them both but I still didn’t talk to people that much. I always thought that people would talk behind my back, always…
sorry for the long message I just wanted to get some things off my chest because this is a serious issue for me =(. I do hope to god if anyone my age right now have children and thinking of a divorce you better think it out real good because your children are going to pay the real price not you but if you and the father or mother cant work it out please for the love of god let them see them don’t take them away from them.
i am a senior in high school, i am an A and B student. i am healthy and happy and i am proud to say that i am from a broken home. my mom and dad were unhappy. and took it out on everyone else. if you are in a conflict ridden home, it is not a home, it is a building to sleep in, not even protection sometimes. i was mentally abused by my dad and physically (until the age of 7) and mentally abused by my mom as well. i would have to tell any one in this world, staying together is NOT alwyas an option. it can create MORE psychological problems for children than a divorce could. i have been happy since the day they divorced. the day they told us, was the happiest day of my life and i knew it was for the better. when they split, all the abuse stopped. they both became parents and even though they still argue, they are better than they were together. the affects of a divorce depend on which side you are looking from. if it is a happy home, no conflict, then dont get divorce for the simple reason that you are not attracted to that person. you made your bed and you need to lie in it. however, if all you do is fight and argue, dont stay “just for the kids”, it will 1) make them think it is their fault and they will think that if they leave, it will stop. i know that from expirience; and 2) make their life a living hell, they wont want to be home, they will get into things they shouldnt just because they feel that all they have are friends so they are easily pressured into to doing things. either that or they will have sex in order to become pregnant and be able to get approval of marriage just so they can leave. my stepmom did that. not out of promiscuity, but because she felt that there was no way out other than to get married and in order t odo that at a young age, she had to have been pregnant because of her parents. so many bad things can happen if a disgruntled and conflicted marriage remains intact and doesnt seperate.
While i do understand that divorcing from an abusive, dangerous, or mentally unstable marrige is probably the best option; People should not divorce just because they think it is an easy way out. I come from a divorced family, my parents divorced because my father was acting like “a two year old” so my mother says. My brother and i just came home from school one day to find my dad packing his stuff. If you feel the need to divorce talk to your children, let them tell you how they feel about it. It may change your mind or push you to work harder to save your marriage. Not all marriages can be saved but at least the kids will have some say in a decision that will effect the corse of the rest of thier lives. Its not easy watching the people who brought you into the world fall into diffrent paths. You chose the person you married, not your children.
The statistics are forgetting to relate the problems caused by staying in an abusive home. My personal experience is that raising my children in the home before my devorse was much, much more stressful on my children. Threats were a daily matter…. I couldn’t imagine what staying there would have done to my children! Possibly, the results could have been that of my step-aunt, who lost her son to suicide resulting from an abusive father. There are serious consequences for staying in specific marriages, and I wouldn’t emphasize anti-devorce so stongly as the message could be taken by the wrong reader. I truely believe the rates of devorce are raising because women are finally in a position that they can stand up for themselves. Granted, I do realize there are devorces for materialistic and unfortunate matters.
I do not tihnkg a family should stay together if they do not want to just to avoid a divorce. This is not necessarily easier than a divorce.
I am from a divorced home. My parents divorced when I was a year old. I dont remember having my parents live in the same home. My dad did get remarried again and so did my mom three times after she divorced my dad. My second stepdad hated children and made my life hell. I was sixteen when she married him and my stepmom wasnt much better to me growing up. My first stepdad was great, he always did things with me and made me feel that I was part of the family. I cried when my mom divorced him. My dad has been with my stepmom for almost thirty years now and my mom is single again. I am now an adult who is married with two small children. My husband and I have been together for fourteen years and going to celebrate our ten year wedding anniversery. I made a promise to myself when I got married to to everything it takes to make my marriage work for not only myself but for my kids. I dont want my children to go through what I did growing up as a child. It was hard for myself and my older brother. It was not fun to be bounced back and forth between two parents. A person does need to look deep into the reprocutions of divorce. Especialy if there are children. When a couple takes a vow infront of God to take your spouse for better or worse, they should not take it lightly.
I am also from a home with divorced parents, and you know what? I am in my third year of college, have no psychological problems, have had no broken bones, don’t suffer from headaches, and am perfectly happy.
Would you rather be from a home where the parents are happily divorced, or a home where the parents are unhappily married and fighting all the time. To me, I choose the first because hearing your parents fight is the worst feeling you will ever have.
This is correct. KEEP YOUR MARRIAGE ALIVE, WHATEVER IT TAKES!!! I know because I am from a broken home.
That seems pretty true to me. I had to go through two divorces as of now. When I was 9 my mom and dad divorced without warning and my dad moved away in only 3 days. After that, my life changed in so many ways. I still was able to see my dad and had to go through a lot with him. He married 4 years later just after he got back together with his exgirlfriend. That shocked me greatly.
After my dad was married to my former step mom for 2 years they divorced. I remember walking into my dad’s house and almost everything was gone. I knew something had happened even before my dad told my brother and I the devastating news.
2 weeks later my dad started to go out with a new girlfriend. They slept together on the first night I met her. After about 2 months of dating they each told me that they were having a baby. My father had really screwed up his life and mine that time.
About 8 months later they got engaged. My baby brother had been born and I was 16 years older than him. Three months later my dad’s fiance moved away without even telling any of us. She also took my baby brother. In one night she moved everything away, but her family probably helped. She hasn’t gotten in touch with my dad or my brother and I. I may never see her or my half brother again. What really makes me sad is that when my dad offered to give her my phone number just to talk to my brother or myself she said no.