Comments on: 10 Shocking Statistics about Children and Divorce

By: Abigail

Abigail — Fri, 19 Mar 2010 13:29:24 +0000

Well personally, I do come from a divorced family. My parents got divorced when I was 7 years old and I must say it was devastating. I think the effects of divorce varies from person to person. Some people suffer a lot more from it than others. My sister for example, ever since the divorce she suffers from eating disorders and is constantly going to therapy. She is always depressed and has a pretty bad relationship with my dad. On the other hand, I didn’t suffer from any disorders. I went to divorce therapy sessions for a while but that was it.
The only thing that bothered me was that I didn’t have a good relationship with my dad. And that our family wasn’t whole. Sure I would rather there be a divorce than a horrible family that argued all the time. But the fact that I don’t have a dad in my life still hurts. SO I guess it just goes back to choosing wisely who you marry.

By: Lisa

Lisa — Tue, 09 Mar 2010 17:44:21 +0000

I believe that we humans have a tendency to play the victim role. Bad things happen all the time to people and we have a choice to either get help, look inward and help oursleves or sit with what has been done to you and play the victim. I am not saying that kids ar enot affected by divorce but as parents I feel the focus should be more about building kids self esteem and and self worth up in our children. We tend not to focus on how many of us are walking around damaged goods becasue we have no self love and no tools to cope with change. The truth is that life offers no gaurantees and is constantly changing, that is the one thign I know for sure. We are all walking around doing the best we know how with what we have and sometimes it just isn’t much or enough. Do I want to stay in a relationship and be miserable and teach my kids that they should sacrifice themselves for others? No that is not the message I want to teach but instead to be able to disern when you are being a door mat vs. loving and caring for another human in a healthy fashion. We have a tendency to not be able to find our own voices and strength. If we are not taking responsibility for our own lives today, then who will and who will teach our kids to stand up and not live in fear of what others will think? Who? We have to eveolve…

By: Jessica

Jessica — Mon, 08 Mar 2010 04:23:55 +0000

Wow, this is extremely helpful. Not the article so much as the comments. I am currently in a psychologically abusive marriage and thinking of divorce. We have two small children and being from a broken home myself I am very anxious about getting a divorce. My parent’s divorce was probably one of the worst things that ever happened to me as I can attribute anything bad that ever happened to have come from it. I really don’t want to do that to my kids, but I also don’t want them to have to deal with the same torment that I do by staying in this relationship. But, who’s to say that it won’t just be worse when I’m not around to control the situation when he has visitation. I’d rather take the blow than either of them. It is such a difficult decision to make. If anyone reading this has any advice I’d be more than happy to hear it. I want to be strong and stand up for what I know is right, but I also want to be able to protect my kids as much as possible.

By: JusMe

JusMe — Fri, 19 Feb 2010 14:35:03 +0000

I recently saw a lawyer about a divorce and am not going to feel GUILTY about leaving because of the negative effects it will have on my son. I feel that in my son’s mere 6-years of life he’s seen enough of this NEGATIVE relationship. Staying in an unhealthy relationship will only teach my son 1) To Resent his father; 2) That it’s okay to treat others badly; 3) Unhealthy relationship patterns. I want my son to know what it’s like to have a HEALTHY and HAPPY relationship and will never happen in this household with my husband. My son does not see his parents hug or kiss (unless it’s forced) we don’t talk, as my husband can NEVER discuss anything because of course ” I ” am always wrong or being a ‘bitch’. My husband is ALL about himself and my son and I are obsticles in his life. He has no respect for for or my son. He will walk into the room and just turn the tv to whatever HE wants to watch no matter if my son or I am watching something. He’s shiftless and sits on the couch all night! I think my son will be a happier child in the long run if we separate ourselves from this negative relationship.

PLEASE FEEL FREE TO COMMENT!

By: adrienne

adrienne — Mon, 15 Feb 2010 23:46:11 +0000

These statements are shocking but true. My parents got a divorce when i was 9, and I’ve hated every day since. Now I think of telling my mother that i would rather live with my dad full time, but I am scared what she will say, i hate my life now that i have two, because every time i leave the other house i change into a different person, i wish people would try to work things out more, i know when im older i will try my hardest.

By: Kevin Hood

Kevin Hood — Mon, 11 Jan 2010 00:49:07 +0000

I am from a broken home. My parents divorced when I was 15. I have 3 sisters and two brothers. I am 50 years old now and still remember. Our entire family was destroyed. My older sister severily emotionaly unstable. Another sister married and they fought constantly. She became an alcoholic. Another married at 15 and is now divorced and the kids have been in trouble with the law ever since their dad has been gone.

I myself went through a drug and alcohol rehab center at age 24. My youngest brother is in a penatintuary in New Mexico for involuntary man slaughter and arson.

I have two kids a daughter 17 and a son 13. My wife just filed for a divorce a month ago. I do not want it. I know what damage it done to my family. I am unable to communicate with her because of a restraining order. I can not see my kids for an entire year. I have been with her for 21 years and have never touched her. I do not abuse the kids. I love them all they are my life. I have been in turmoil ever since. We have been through hell together. I made one bad mistake and just like that its over. I have never been able to talk to her this whole time. I only wish there was some way I could tell her that I love her and the kids dearly. And try to talk her out of it. It will destroy all of us.

By: Patti

Patti — Tue, 29 Dec 2009 06:24:56 +0000

I agree with what that says, my parents divorced when i was 4, my dad quickly re married and left us for a state almost 300 miles away and by law we had to see him every other weekend, even though we are used to it its still hard.

By: Patti

Patti — Tue, 29 Dec 2009 06:24:49 +0000

By: Sophia

Sophia — Tue, 08 Dec 2009 22:35:26 +0000

i agree! i myself am living with out my father. my father is an alcholic, so honestly.. i am very glad he is not part of my life. i even see how my mother strugles to do things for my sister & i. my mother has kidney cancer and wont be here much longer, which makes me angry at my father.

By: Janet

Janet — Sat, 31 Oct 2009 20:03:33 +0000

I work in Marriage Ministry and will be doing a workshop on Holidays in December. Children of Divorce could you please help me out by giving me insight into what worked as fair as celebrating the holidays with your divorced families. What was some of the best and worst arrangements? Thanks for your help. Our goal and passion is to eliminate as much pain and sadness in today’s COD as possible. Your experience may help another. Thanks again!