World Village » Family Life

Questions To Ask When Choosing A Nursing Facility For A Loved One

Kristie Brown — Wed, 23 May 2012 11:22:09 +0000

You want the best for your parents, especially now that they're aging and unable to care for themselves the way they once took care of you. It's hard to see them this way, and it's even more heartbreaking should one of them be diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease. You know they will become unable to meet any of their own needs eventually, and someday down the line you're probably going to have to secure nursing home care. The thought can be agonizing, and the actual act of taking a parent from their home and putting them into a nursing facility can be almost more than you can bear. Before you choose the facility you're going to entrust with their care, it's smart to ask a few questions.

There are different ways to treat Alzheimer's. You can either use behavioral techniques designed to lessen the aggression, or you can drug the individual into passivity. Since you want your loved one to enjoy every bit of life they possibly can, there's no way you want to see them drugged into oblivion unless absolutely necessary. When you consider a facility, ask what percentage of their dementia patients are being calmed with anti-psychotic drugs. If the answer is more than 25%, then you need to look somewhere else.

Find out what the ratio of staff to patients is. The recommended numbers are 1 to 5 during the hours from 7 a.m. to 8 p.m., and 1 to 9 overnight. The higher the ratio of patients for one caregiver, the less attention your parent is going to receive. Caregivers who are over-stressed in this way have less stamina and patience left to deal with the needs of their unique and demanding patients. Don't just visit the home during the week, either. Some homes cut down to bare-bones staffs on the weekends to reduce cost, but the patients need the same care no matter what day of the week it is.

As you walk around in a nursing home, how does it make you feel?
* Is staff attentive and pleasant?
* Do you see staff members giving patients hugs and other signs of caring?
* Are residents being provided with activities to keep their minds active, or do they just mainly sit staring mindlessly into space?
* Does the place smell bad?
* What are meals like?
* Would you feel comfortable living in this environment?

If you don't like what you see, hear, smell, or taste in the home, then chances are your parent isn't going to want to stay there, either. Poorly-run facilities are what give nursing homes a bad name, but they all aren't bad. Keep looking until you find one that satisfies you. You can also move your parent somewhere else if you find that the home you select isn't meeting your expectations.
For more info visit http://www.brightstarcare.com.

Providing For The Children When You And Your Spouse Divorce

Kristie Brown — Tue, 22 May 2012 11:13:40 +0000

When a divorcing couple has young children, there are a lot of details that they need to work out in writing prior to signing the final decree. Although it may sound simple to you in the beginning, rest assured that there are many traps that both custodial and non-custodial parents fall into that end up causing arguments and costing one party or the other money they had not planned for. You need to consider all the child's needs until he or she finishes college, and these needs are going to change through the years. For instance, providing for payment of child care may be relevant with a young child, but what about prom expenses in high school?

One thing that we can all be sure of in life is that we have to expect the unexpected. Naturally, no divorce decree can cover all the bases, but spending some time thinking about what you would like to see happen in your child's life can put a different spin or your requests. Like most parents, you probably want your child to at least finish high school and maybe go on to college. What happens if your ex doesn't prioritize education and allows the child to drop out? Will you have a say or will you just have to let it happen?

What if your child develops a medical condition? It might be something common, such as ADD or crooked teeth, but it could also be something more serious, like broken limbs or cancer. Who is going to be responsible for the bills? Who should carry the medical insurance? Will decisions about how to proceed medically be up to one individual or joint decisions, and what do you do when you disagree? Ask your attorneys for suggestions at the time of your divorce, and then stipulate that the custody agreement will be updated every few years, because circumstances are sure to change in some ways.

You don't want to set yourself up for future fights when you know your child will be caught in the middle and feel guilt about causing the problems. Say you want to send your child to baseball camp expecting your ex to pay for it, but he or she just doesn't have the money. How much can you reasonably expect and still allow your ex to have a life of their own?

Maybe your child would benefit by attending a $5,000 baseball camp run by major leaguers, but wouldn't he have just as good of a time at the camp run by your church and for a whole lot less? Agree in your original paperwork that each of you will pay a certain percentage of the child's expenses. Your ex may not be so excited about the $5,000 camp if he or she has to pay 10 or 25% of the bills.

For more info visit http://www.top20questions.com.

Financial Outlook And Recession Affects Both Marriage And Divorce Rates

Kristie Brown — Sun, 20 May 2012 11:54:15 +0000

A lot of speculation has been made about the real divorce rate in the United States. Although it has long been thought to be around 50%, in actuality the number varies with the way it has been figured. For example, the divorce rate in 2009 was 3.4 per 1000 people which is exactly the same as the marriage rate. It sounds like 50% is about right when described this way. However, when a study was done of men and women ages 50 to 69 who have been divorced at least once during their lives, it was found that a more accurate number was 36%. That coupled with the fact that the U.S. has the highest marriage rate in the developed world makes for interesting conjecture.

Marriage has changed in the last 50 years. In 1960, 68% of all adults in their 20s were married. This is opposed to 26% today. People are marrying at later ages. The median age for a first marriage is 26 for women and 28 for men. In the years since the recession hit in 2008, attorneys have noted a decreased number of divorces at the same time that fewer young people are setting up households of their own. With all of the unemployment and economic doubts, young people are staying in their parents' home longer instead of marrying and becoming independent. In the general population, taking all age groups into consideration, the statistics for marriage are 52% now, down from 72% in 1960.

The increase of women in the workforce has had dramatic effects on the marriage and divorce rates. In 1960, 32% of working women were married. By the year 2008, the number had almost doubled to 61%. On the flip side, sociologists blame this rise in working women for the rise in divorce rates in these decades. They say that both parents are so stressed from working and trying to handle all of the responsibility that they have little time or strength left to maintain their relationships.

As in so many other areas of life in the 21^st century, money is a big factor in both marriage and divorce. In 2009, men with incomes of $75,000 and higher showed a divorce rate of 32.6% while women in a similar economic strata had a rate of 23.4%. More of those in the $25,000 to $40,000 income group – about 29.9% – got divorced.
Studies have been conducted about the relationship between finances and marriage. They show that newlyweds who incur increasing debts soon after the wedding are more likely to divorce. Couples who have assets of at least $100,000 are less likely to divorce, and those who argue about money more than once a week are 30% more likely to divorce than those who seldom disagree.
For more info visit http://www.top20questions.com.

Dementia Care Needs To Become A Government Priority Now

Kristie Brown — Sun, 20 May 2012 11:42:08 +0000

Being diagnosed with Alzheimer's is probably one of the worst feelings in the world. Unlike those who are told they have cancer, doctors can offer no hope to Alzheimer's patients that they can ever beat the disease. Once a person has Alzheimer's, there's no expectations for the future except for a gradual decline in abilities and being unable to do the things the person once enjoyed in life. Anyone in the beginning stages of dementia knows that there will be no happy endings for them, that they aren't going to have a peaceful old age, and they aren't going to continue even being themselves for much longer. 

Most of us don't know a lot about Alzheimer's because people who have it aren't able to become public and champion research and funding. Even public figures we know suffered from it, such as Ronald Reagan, seem to disappear from the public eye soon after diagnosis. No one wants the world seeing them deteriorate, and by the time they become completely oblivious to their condition, it's too late to promote any cause, no matter how important. What we do know, though, is that of the top ten causes of death in the United States today, Alzheimer's is the only one that has no prevention, cure, or way to stop the progression.

More than 5.4 million Americans are living with Alzheimer's. That's one out of every eight adults. Costs are soaring, because it's estimated that Medicare pays out $3 for a dementia patient for each dollar spent on seniors without. Medicaid pays 19 times as much. In all, experts are estimating that in 2012 the federal costs, including Medicare and Medicaid, to care for dementia patients will be more than $200 billion. This number is expected to rise with the escalating number of Alzheimer's cases and the aging baby boom generation. It's possible that unless something is done quickly, it will cost $1.1 trillion dollars to care for Alzheimer's patients in the year 2050.

The president of the Alzheimer's Association contends that the U.S. federal government needs to give higher priority to funding dementia research if we are going to have any hope of controlling costs in the future. In 2011, the government invested about $502.5 million for Alzheimer's research. That compares to $823 million that was earmarked for obesity issues. Although the proportion alloted to Alzheimer's seems fairly large, it isn't enough to tackle the problems of finding preventions and cures for this devastating condition.
For more info visit http://www.brightstarcare.com.

Accepting Step-Parents Into Your Relationship With Your Child

Kristie Brown — Fri, 18 May 2012 11:34:27 +0000

Just celebrating Mother's Day these days can be a challenge with the large number of blended families that include parents, step-parents, and other adults. Who has a right to see the children of the original union, who should gifts be given to, and how can you celebrate when animosity still colors your relationship with the other parties? Children are often confused by the conflicting information that fills their world, and they need guidance in understanding how to deal with these other people who have come into their lives. What can you do to help them?

Start by accepting their feelings, no matter what they are. You may experience a bit of jealousy about the new person in your ex's life, and that's only normal, but now is not the time to let it show and speak spitefully about him or her. Your child should be allowed to make decisions on his or her own. If they like the step-parent and enjoy spending time with them, they should be allowed to, no matter how much you'd like to block the relationship. Your child will have to deal with both sides of his or her family for a lifetime, and it's better to encourage a healthy relationship from the onset. Making rude remarks about the new parent-figure in their life may make you feel better, but it will ultimately hurt the child.

Never try to compete with your new counterpart. You are your child's mother or father, no matter who comes into their life. Both of you trying to outdo the other to gain the child's affection is going to end up with a very spoiled child. Never try to be who you aren't. For example, if your ex's new love has the money to buy the child expensive gifts, don't overspend your budget in an attempt to do the same. Spend time with the child. Do special activities together. Let them know how much you love them. Your child will love you even without the shiny gifts.

Let your child know that they have your permission to establish their own relationship with their new step-parent. Sometimes children hesitate to do so because they fear it will either anger or hurt you. Let them know that their feelings are valid and acceptable, because, in the end, they are going to be the winners in this situation. 

You need to realize that it's going to take time for everyone involved to adjust to the new relationships, and never try to push it. Keep an open mind and a positive attitude, and eventually everything will turn out for the best.

For more info visit http://www.top20questions.com.

What A Great Caregiver Should Do For Your Loved One

Kristie Brown — Fri, 18 May 2012 11:29:37 +0000

Home caregivers have become really popular in recent years as they enable elderly people to continue to live in their own homes longer. The range of duties performed by these dedicated people depends on their backgrounds and the skills they have to offer. Some are professionals who have had nursing training and are able to work with the homebound who have health issues. Others are strictly amateurs who have a desire to make lives better for the older people in their community. These people offer companionship as well as housekeeping, cooking, laundry, transportation, and personal services.

The number one quality a caregiver needs to display is compassion, but not too much. You want someone who will offer your parent understanding and patience in light of their limitations. However, you don't want one who waits on them hand and foot so that they no longer carry on an active life. The caregiver should be willing to talk to the senior, but not to talk his or her ear off and make them nervous. The one you hire should also have a calming personality that will maintain a quiet, serene environment in your loved one's home.

Although the pay rates for caregivers are slowly rising, most can expect to get no more than $18,000 per year for the services they provide. Like others in positions that offer care, such as a teacher's aide or nurse's aide, these people work mainly for the satisfaction the job gives them. You must appreciate their efforts and let them know it if you hope to get one to continue in your employ.

Some of the standard duties of a caregiver paid on this type of wage scale include:

* Personal care -- bathing, toileting assistance, hygiene maintenance, and dressing are some tasks that fall under this heading.

* Medical Care – many seniors need no more medical assistance than someone to help them keep track of their medications and take them at the proper times.

* Housekeeping – is everything from washing dishes to vacuuming to doing laundry. It will all depend on how much your parent can and wants to do on their own and the type of help they need.

* Cooking – will depend on what you are paying them to do. It might be just to make sure that your loved ones eats properly, fix them a simple sandwich at lunchtime, or to cook entire dinners. Make sure your expectations are clear from the time you first hire someone.

* Companionship – too many elderly people are lonely. They no longer have the friends and family they once had, and it's easy for them to just sit by themselves day after day. You'll want a caregiver who is able to become a friend.

* Transportation – getting to the store, the beauty salon, medical appointments, or other events is often a concern of older folks.
For more info visit http://www.brightstarcare.com.

Gifts Your Mother Will Appreciate Receiving

Kristie Brown — Thu, 17 May 2012 11:09:41 +0000

Most grown children have trouble thinking of things to do for their aging mothers. If your mother is like mine, she already have everything she wants, and she really doesn't need any more possessions. This makes it impossible to find something to do for her for the various holidays of the year. If you are in this same boat when it comes to Christmas, birthday, or Mother's Day, you're undoubtedly looking for ideas. Sometimes the best ideas in situations like these are not found in buying material items but in giving your parent some kind of service they're in need of. Lots of elderly people struggle with conducting their own affairs, and this is an area for you to explore when you're searching for your next gift.

Don't pussyfoot around the fact that she is going to die someday. She already knows that, and uppermost in her mind is leaving all of her affairs in order so that she won't be placing a large burden on her heirs. Estate planning is one of these areas that she realizes she should take care of, but she may not quite know how to go about it. Your job will be to help your mother make a list of everything she owns, numbers for any of her accounts, the the passwords you will need to access them. This organization will help her when she visits a lawyer in order to write a will. She needs to decide what she wants done with her assets which include her home, vehicles, insurance policies, bank accounts, stocks and bonds, and items that are special to family members.

Another service which she may need someday will require a lot of work. You need to find a solution to the problem of where she is going to live if she gets to the point that she's unable to live alone any longer. Some suggestions include:
* having her move in with you,
* putting her into a nursing or assisted care facility,
* enlisting home care
* purchasing home health monitoring equipment

Admittedly this isn't an easy subject to deal with, but you need to meet it head on now, before the time actually arrives. You can do the legwork to find out what's available in your community. Knowing exactly what will be happening to her someday will give her more peace of mind when that day comes.

You could also implement plans to keep her safe in these very vulnerable senior years. You've undoubtedly heard the stories about the elderly folk who have lost their entire life savings to con artists, and you don't want your mom to become one of these statistics. Keep up to date on scams that are taking place in your area, and make sure your mother knows about them, too. In areas of high crime, you can consider installing a security system for her in case of a break-in. She will feel much safer because of your efforts.

For more info visit http://www.brightstarcare.com.

The Youngest Children Are The Ones Most Affected By Divorce

Kristie Brown — Wed, 16 May 2012 11:30:28 +0000

Too often parents discount the depth of the feelings their children have when they get a divorce. A serious misconception is that older children feel the split much harder than little ones do. You've heard people saying, “Well, he's only four and doesn't know what's going on.” That's been a common theory up until now when researchers at Georgetown University discovered that actually the opposite is true. Smaller children under the age of 5 are the ones who suffer the most negative effects of their parents' divorces.

It's probably needless to say that a child's world is torn apart by the difficulties their parents are going through. These kids have been raised to believe that their environment is stable and the way it's supposed to be, no matter what it's actually like. During their youngest years, children learn to develop attachments. Early on they conclude that they are loved by their parents, that they live in a safe environment, and that they're free to explore the world they live in. In short, they have it all figured out for themselves. That is, until something changes to make them doubt that anything is really the way they thought.

You may see the confusion they are feeling in their behavior. Unable to fully discuss the way they are feeling, they often act inappropriately. Parents who are stressed out themselves are more prone to get angry with the misbehavior, and that parental reaction reinforces the child's sense of unease. It can be a vicious circle unless parents know some simple coping strategies and make the way easier for their little ones.

Make sure to keep your connections with your child strong. Be as honest and straightforward as you can be, and if you aren't sure where the future is going to take you, tell them so. Just let them know that no matter what happens, you'll be there for them. Don't go so far as to make promises, though, which you may not be able to keep. Keep your fights and discussions with your spouse between just the two of you. Don't make your home environment any more chaotic than it already is. You also need to make sure the child knows that your marital difficulties are in no way because of them.

Divorce is difficult for everyone involved and often brings about unwelcome changes in lifestyle. Try to keep everything as constant as possible for your children and maintain a soothing demeanor when dealing with them. Even the smallest child can get very upset when they sense that something isn't right.
For more info visit http://www.top20questions.com.

Ways You Can Get A Senior Citizen Up And Active Again

Kristie Brown — Tue, 15 May 2012 12:03:29 +0000

Ask almost any senior citizen if they prefer to just sit around and take things easy, and they're going to tell you “no way”. Mistakenly many of us equate an advanced age with lack of vitality and interest in the the world around them, but as people are living longer, they're retaining these characteristics well into their golden years. It's possible you may know a senior who is somewhat limited in mobility or crippled up with arthritis, but you'll find that if you suggest an activity, they'll be more than willing to go with you. Here are some ideas for getting them up and active again:

1. If the person is lonely and enjoys company, you might be able to interest them in going to a local senior center or joining some type of club. Here they can find the companionship they seek, meet new friends, and enjoy activities with peers. In the beginning it may be difficult to get the person to go, because something new can be a challenge to anyone. Talk to the director of the center or club and find out when a good time to visit might be. Maybe there's a time when the center isn't very busy so that your senior wouldn't be intimidated by a whole room full of strangers. You could invite them to go to dinner with you at a center potluck, or entice them with some of the activities you know they'd particularly enjoy. Once you get them involved, it's a sure bet they'll want to go back again and again.

2. Volunteering offers unique experiences for willing seniors. The different types of jobs abound, and your loved one will be sure to find something out there that he or she enjoys doing. Not only do these activities involve working as productive members of the community, but they can also come with perks, such as free dinners, small gifts, and service recognition awards. A senior who has been busy their entire lifetime doesn't like to feel that they aren't able to be an active part of the work community any longer. They can begin feeling depressed and worthless. Volunteering will demonstrate to them that they still have plenty to give and that their efforts are appreciated.

3. With the help of your senior, plan a get-together for others in the age group who live nearby in order to establish friendships. This is especially important when the person reaches an age where they are losing friends and need to find other people to share their world. Make sure to allow the senior to help with everything from planning to clean up. You may have to modify tasks to their abilities, but you also might find them working rings around you, because older folks have strong work ethics. Plan a simple menu and a few “get to know you” games to break the ice. They will have a lot to talk about, because they have shared similar experiences, such as the Great Depression, health problems, parenting,and other events from their lifetimes.
For more info visit http://www.brightstarcare.com.

Examine Your Commitment Before Seeking Couples Therapy

Kristie Brown — Fri, 11 May 2012 13:44:32 +0000

Oftentimes, when a couple is in the throes of bitter conflict or divorce, couples therapy may sound like a good idea. After all, what can it hurt to have an expert sort out your differences and put you on a path to happiness? Actually, it isn't quite that simple. While therapy can do great things between you and your spouse, it can only happen if both of you are ready and open to the commitments you will need to make. Without the proper commitment, therapy sessions are doomed from the onset, and it's going to cost you a bundle to accomplish absolutely nothing. Before you enlist the help of a professional with any hope of a positive outcome, you both need to consider three crucial issues.

Examine yourself for your investment of both time and cash. No one is saying that therapy is easy, and you'll be forced to discuss some very painful topics in order to get to the bottom of your problems. Sessions are going to require a commitment to attend each and every time and not make excuses. The only answer is to meet everything head on, and only you will be able to decide if you have the stamina and strength to see it all through. Professional therapy is expensive. Can you afford it for the long haul? You aren't going to create a strong, healthy marriage in just one or two sessions, so this will be a continuing expense for the foreseeable future.

Are you a reasonable person and willing to compromise? If you've already decided that you are always right and your spouse is always wrong, you aren't leaving much room for change. In all marriages, both partners have weaknesses that they will need to work on. Can you accept this about yourself? A willingness to accept your own failings with a positive, willing attitude is going to be critical to success. No one wants to live with someone who's always right and to concede defeat in every argument. If you've never been willing to compromise and seek common ground, couples therapy probably isn't right for you.

Do you consider yourself to be open to new ideas and suggestions? Be honest, now. If you find yourself to be inflexible and unable to adapt to changes, then therapy isn't going to work for you. Your therapist is going to get to know you both and will then suggest new concepts for you to work on to change the status quo. Don't just go into the sessions thinking that the expert can magically change your marriage into a working relationship. It's going to take work to do that, and you and your spouse are the ones who are going to have to do it. An open mind and a willingness to cooperate and change are the tools you'll need to succeed.
For more info visit http://www.top20questions.com.