When the demands of two families come into play – a new family can really be pulled apart. Who gets to be the host and what presents get to be opened where? Even balanced family arrangements can ruffle the family feathers.
The most important thing is that everyone gets together at some point during the holidays and it shouldn’t matter which date of the seasonal calendar is spent where. Determining where to celebrate can take you in circles if you don’t think it through carefully.
Before the holidays, discuss the possible plans with extended family members and work out an arrangement. If your parents and your husband’s live a significant distance from each other, you may wish to spend Thanksgiving or New Years with one set of grandparents and the Christmas holidays with the other – then switch the next year.
And, if you’re just sick and tired of shuttling your young family back and forth between two sets of grandparents – call it quits! Volunteer to host the holidays yourself.
The upside of hosting is that you’re in control. Visiting is never completely relaxing especially with very young children. Instead, give yourself and your children the gift of waking up at home Christmas morning and staying there long enough to enjoy their toys.
Aside from all the packing that’s involved with transporting young children, there’s the added stress of keeping your cool in a home that isn’t childproofed. After countless warnings to stay away from the lit candles, hard candy dishes, fragile tree ornaments and the like, even the most cooperative child can become frustrated.
Save yourself the stress and have the grandparents come to you. Or, at the very least, keep your outings short.

I'm finding balancing the time to spend holiday time with my husband's family and mine quite stressful. His side of the family always tends to have trouble finding out when everyone is coming to visit, thus, creating issues of when I can tell my side of the family when Christmas dinner will be. The day I spend with my family is always decided when his are getting together. Making me feel bitter, that his comes first. We travel 3 hours to be with his family and I still feel cheated that my family always has the back burner.. I'm so stressed about this. I want to visit with them I just always feeling bitter because of the principle of the matter.