Fear , Awe, Hope – What Will This Year Bring?

Rosh Hashana 5769 The second day of the holiday has just ended. The year 5769 is under way. What will it bring? I came to live in Sderot Israel only two months ago. I came here because . . . because I just had to. Today has been a day to reflect deeply on that decision. Was it a good decision? Will it lead to the things I have hoped for, and fought for, so many years? Was it worth the sacrifice? Will this year resolve any of the turmoil? – not just the violent conflict between our neighbors and Israel – not just the conflicts between people in this country who have differing political views – but also the inner turmoil. I see it in the faces of many men and women in this country. And today, I got to see it very clearly in me. It has been years, perhaps a decade or more, since I heard the sound of the shofar. Hearing it today was an especially emotional event for me. Finally in Israel, the homeland. I can only imagine how the other men and women in the congregation might have been feeling — having survived another year of kassam missile attacks. Today, we had permission to be more self-indulgent, and I was. I thought of the people who have left us in the last several years, and I tried to say kaddish for them. It was not entirely unselfish – hopefully, someone will say kaddish for me, someday . . . but hopefully not too soon. I thought of everything I left to come and live in Israel. Everything and everyone. The faces of the past years came to me while the shofar sounded, and all I could think of was . . . I don’t even know how to describe what I was thinking or feeling. I just want things to be good for everyone. And I looked at myself. The product of the last many years of trying different things to find a niche in life was not an easy thing to look at. Yet, I know, the last many years have nothing to do with this new year, if I don’t want them to. Rosh Hashana – a new year – is a time to reflect on change. Change within ourselves. Change that leads to working toward constructive and meaningful goals. Change that leads to greater rewards. It all emanates from some part of our inner selves. And the sound of the shofar awakens it. It is fear – for we have no guarantee that the changes we want to make will lead to good. They could just as easily lead to disaster. It is awe. Awesome to stand before the Powers of the Universe, and ask for a little help. It is hope. On Rosh Hashana, we hope to be listed in the Book of Life. But we don’t know. We can only hope. And we can hope for more, too. We can hope that enough people in our countries and in the world will see things in the right way, and bring better leadership and better solutions to the problems we face. And that is my great hope for 5769 – that we get good leaders and start making this world more liveable for more people. From Sderot Israel , Have a most prosperous and meaningful 5769.