Happiness Is …

Do you remember the hit single ‘Don’t Worry, Be Happy’ by Bobby McFerrin? With it’s catchy melody and silly video, the song captures the essence of what it takes to be happy no matter what situation you find yourself in. In fact, as the song points out, in life we may have troubles, but if you worry, you’ll soon discover that it doubles.

Good advice.

If you ask anyone what their goal in life is, it’s amazing how many people can’t come up with anything more specific than, “I just want to be happy.”

So what does happiness mean to you? Again, most people I ask say they don’t care whether they have a lot of money or a big, shiny new car or a mansion in the country, as long as they’re happy. Unfortunately, many of the people who say this appear to be desperately unhappy. It shows on their face, the way they move their bodies and the less than exuberant tone of their voice.

So, are you happy? If your answer is “yes”, then good for you. If your answer is “no” or “I don’t know” or “sometimes” then remember, whatever situation is making you unhappy will likely change. In fact, along with death and taxes, one of the only guarantees in life is change. So, even if you find yourself in what seems to be an unbearable situation, just wait a while and you’ll see … it will change.

Actually, when you think about it, being happy is relatively easy. It simply a matter of deciding to be happy no matter what trials and tribulations you may be facing.

When Abraham Lincoln observed that “Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be,” he basically summed up the key ingredient to happiness. He realized that most people, most of the time, can choose how happy or stressed, relaxed or troubled, bright or dull their outlook in life will be. Therefore, if you choose to be happy, you will be happy.

One of the immediate benefits to being happy is that it’s good for your health. Stress is linked to many of the top causes of death, such as heart disease, cancer and stroke. Being happy actually protects you from the stresses of life.

Okay, I know what you’re thinking … “My mother-in-law is driving me crazy and my kids won’t listen to me and my boss hates me and ….” Obviously, no person is an island. Our relationship with others has a strong bearing on our personal happiness. But keep in mind that your relationship with yourself has an even stronger bearing on your happiness. If you accept yourself as you are and decide to be happy no matter what, then it’s much easier to deal with other people, regardless of how much they may be driving you crazy.

Accept the fact that people are different, and will rarely be in perfect alignment with what you need and want. The thing is, once you’ve decided to be happy despite the clashes and arguments and resentments that come up from time to time, you will discover a stark change in how those conflicts play out. A person who is happy is much more likely to discover a compromise or way of deflating a nasty situation than a person who is constantly upset and resentful. Accept people for who or what they are, just as you accept yourself, and you will gradually see that being happy is not so difficult after all.

One way to increase your happiness is to have a grateful attitude. Thank the taxi driver for bringing you home safely, the cook for a wonderful dinner and even the guy who cleans your windows. Appreciate the mailman for bringing you your mail, and the policeman who helps to make your neighborhood a safe place.

Since we all know that laughter is the best medicine for whatever ails you, try laughing heartily every single day. If you know a good joke, share it with your friends or family. Not everyone is good at telling jokes, but it can be fun trying, and if it doesn’t always come out exactly the way you want it to, don’t worry, be happy. Just the simple fact that you are expressing happy feelings will have a positive effect on those around you, and you know what? People who are happy tend to be surrounded with other people who are happy. It’s one of those strange mysteries in life, but it’s true.

Many people who are unhappy have fallen into a rut. They seem to be bored with how their life is going and they forget that learning is one of the most joyful experiences anyone can participate in. Education does not end with going to school. So, if you’re in a rut, try learning something new everyday.

A friend of mine, the most happy, joyful person I know, has a habit of saying to me, “So much to learn and so little time.” Mike works hard to care for his family, but he is also a black belt in karate, an expert on history, religion, world events and every conceivable topic that ever comes up in our conversations. When his car breaks down, he doesn’t take it in for repairs. He hauls it into his garage and figures out how to fix it himself. It’s not that he’s too cheap to pay someone, it’s the joy of learning how to do it himself that motivates him.

Another way to get out of a rut is to run, jog, walk, swim anything that will make you feel alive. Working and playing hard brings tremendous personal satisfaction. Accomplishment is a necessary part of being happy.

And so, as you can see, the wise men of the ages, from Abraham Lincoln to Bobby McFerrin all agree. Your happiness is … in your own hands. Decide to be happy and you will be. If you’re not, get out of the rut you’re in and figure out how to make it happen. It’s not so hard, really, because it’s a choice we make and not something that is bestowed upon us.

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Glenn Cutforth is a writer, eBook publisher and graphic designer.

Visit his websites at: Self-Help and Wellness.com and The Complete Cat.com

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