Is Your Child Overstressed?

Parents play a vital role in the way stress affects children, says Dr. Archibald D. Hart, author of “Stress and Your Child.” The author explores the nature of childhood stress and how parents can actually cause excess stress in their children.

First, parents can cause stress through abuse, neglect and endurance, and also through wanting the best for their children, by pushing them too hard. Second, when parents are under stress themselves, they inevitably pass it along to their children.

On a positive note, the author emphasized that although parents can be a major cause of stress for children, they can also prevent a lot of stress. Parents are not perfect and fail sometimes. Here are the ten commandments of Dr. Hart’s stress-free parenting :

1. Don’t fight unnecessary battles. Parents should avoid trivial arguments such as over hair, clothes, chores, choice of music, untidy rooms. Confine your areas of conflict to the important things of life. Make sure it is worth fighting over.

2. Talk out your conflicts. Talking about issues reduces stress, even if it does not give the child everything he or she desires.

3. Never criticize your child. Name calling damages self-esteem. Criticism never motivates a child to try harder ; it only invites the child to throw in the towel.

4. Give honest feedback. Affirm what’s good and be honest with the bad.

5. Give your child lots of room to grow.

6. Have someone to talk to. Sharing with others is essential to understanding yourself and make issues become clearer and understand our problems better.

7. Dispense love generously.

8. Dispense forgiveness generously.

9. Affirm your child generously.

10. Give spiritual guidance.