Serving Them Isn’t Easy

As a father one of the hardest struggles I face on a “daily basis” is learning to put my kids needs before my own. What I mean is working to understand what they are thinking and feeling at a particular moment. I could come up with all kinds reasons (excuses really) as to why I struggle with this particular area of parenting.

As a father one of the hardest struggles I face on a “daily basis” is learning to put my kids needs before my own. What I mean is working to understand what they are thinking and feeling at a particular moment. I could come up with all kinds reasons (excuses really) as to why I struggle with this particular area of parenting. I could tell you that I grew up as an only child never having to share my things nor having to share the attention. I could tell you that I rationalize the idea that it’s more important to take care of my own needs first so that I can more properly take care of their needs. I could tell you that their demanding, unrefined attitudes and behavior make it very hard to even want to think of putting them first. Here’s an example from a recent exchange:

Luke: (my 4 year old whining at 7:00 a.m.) I want pancakes dad.

Me: Just a sec Luke.

Luke: (still whining) Right now, dad.

Me: Luke, I can’t hear you because you’re whining.

Luke: Dad, I’m just REALLY hungry.

Me: I understand that Luke. Let me just finish up here.

Luke: DAAAADDD! DAAAADDD!

Me: Luke you need to be patient. When you are patient it easier for me to serve you.

Luke: I’m just REALLY hungry DAADD.

Me: Okay Luke what do you want?

Luke: DAAADDD I already told you I wanted pancakes.

Me: Oh, yes that’s right you did.

It takes about a minute to heat up the frozen pancakes. I take them out of the microwave, put butter and syrup on them and cut them into small bite sizes.

Me: Here ya go Luke.

Luke: Dad, I can’t see the syrup on the pancake.

Me: Well it’s there.

Luke: Dad, could you put some more syrup on?

Me: Luke, it’s on there. I promise. Now please just eat it.

Luke: I don’t see the syrup dad. I can’t like it if I can’t see the syrup.

Me: (the slightest hint of anger) Luke, please sit down and eat these pancakes. Look, I even cut them up for you.

Luke: (very frustrated now) DAAAADDD, where’s the syrup?

Me: (firmly) LUKE!! EAT IT!!

Luke: (whining and ready to cry now) This is not how mom does it.

Me: (angrily) Luke, I’m not your mom. NOW JUST EAT IT!

Luke: (crying now…feeling thoroughly defeated)

Me: Agggggh, fine–then let mom make it for you. I’ve got to go to work.

I kiss him on the head without feeling. Then I kiss my 5 year old daughter who is still asleep in her bed, my 9 year old whose watching TV and getting ready to head of to school and out the door I go.

You should know that our exchanges don’t always go this way but, for me, it’s a lot of work to put my kids needs first. I really have to make a concerted effort.

How about you? Can you identify?

God Bless my wife. She’s home with them all day.