Teaching Kids Responsibility for Pets

America is a country of pet lovers. Consider:

–Currently, the combined total of cats and dogs is more than one for every two people.

–We spend billions and billions of dollars annually on pet care.

–More people are choosing a place to live based on a city’s pet-friendliness, and more landlords are allowing their tenants to have pets.

For many families in pet-loving North America, raising pets while we’re raising kids is an arrangement that benefits all three parts of the equation: pets, kids, and parents.

The pet. Obviously, if you adopt a pet from an animal shelter, a classified ad, or a rescue group–as opposed to a breeder–you’re saving a life and providing that animal with a standard of living almost certainly better than the one you rescued it from. If you’re set on getting a purebred dog or cat from a breeder, however, choose your breeder carefully. Irresponsible breeding practices and sub-optimal kennel conditions inflict untold misery on countless pets, and we don’t want to support these businesses in any way.

The kids. Kids are instinctively drawn to animals; you can see this any time you take a kid to a zoo, a pet shop, or a farm. A child’s first words often include “doggy” and “kitty.” Kids also like having a family member who’s lower in the “pecking order” than they are, and they enjoy the companionship and undivided attention that only a pet can provide.

The parents. Pets provide company and comfort when parents aren’t available; just watch a little boy or girl tell his or her pet their deepest secrets or their latest adventure while the pet sits enraptured. Both benefit from the nonjudgmental and undivided attention. Further, kids learn responsibility from participating in pet care. They experience first-hand that the pet must be fed, exercised, and provided with a place to sleep; must be taken to the doctor when sick; and must be cared for by someone else while the family is busy or away. Especially for children who don’t have significantly younger siblings, pet ownership is an opportunity for parents to model nurturing.

But–and here’s the caveat–the kids’ responsibility as pet caretakers is limited. Kids are kids, not adults; they are not ultimately accountable for the wellbeing of the family’s pets. A toy can, to an extent, be used to teach responsible behavior by natural consequences: if they don’t take care of it, they will lose it. Leave your tools outside and they get rusty; leave your bike unlocked and it gets stolen. Leave your Barbies and Legos on the floor and they get stepped on by people and chewed on by pets. Want a new one? Earn it. Theoretically, at least, kids learn to take care of their “things.”

A dog, cat, or other animal, however, is not a thing; it is a living creature. If you don’t feed it, it will be miserable and eventually die. And while a hungry dog or cat or even bird may make itself hard to ignore, fish, turtles, reptiles, and such are easier to neglect. But their suffering and death are real. The situation is often made worse when a guilt-stricken parent, seeking to console a grieving child, will hurry to replace a deceased pet with a new, similar one. It may make the child feel better in the short term, but it won’t teach him or her the tragic consequences of neglecting a pet.

Attention, parents: please think long and hard before getting your child a pet. Resist the temptation to put that adorable puppy or kitten under the Christmas tree, or the ducky or bunny in the Easter basket. The excitement of the new plaything fades quickly; the sincere promise to feed and care for the pet every day forever is quickly forgotten. Kids are kids. You, Mom or Dad, are the responsible person here. Are you prepared to care for the pet if your child can’t or won’t? If you can’t honestly answer “yes” to that question, do that cute kitty or nice doggy a favor and leave him or her at the shelter.

Many people (myself included) feel that a family without pets is incomplete. But a family with pets isn’t teaching the right lesson about family unless it’s a family with cared-for pets.