The Power of Words

You may not realize it, but the words you use on a daily basis have a powerful effect on how other people relate to you. Your choice of words is extremely important whether you’re dealing with family matters or business matters.

For example, would you rather have someone say you’re “slim” or would you rather they call you “thin” or “skinny?” I don’t know about you, but I think the word “slim” has a much more positive ring to it because it implies good health and fitness. On the hand, “thin” or “skinny” are words that can be taken as derogatory statements that might offend the person.

You see what I mean? The words you choose immediately set up a certain impression and once stated, it can be difficult to pull back from the negative implication, especially if you are dealing with someone you don’t know very well.

Here’s another example. Rather than saying someone has “failed” wouldn’t it be better to say they have not yet achieved success? Failure is not necessarily a negative thing since we all probably learn more from our failures than our successes. However, the context is important and the last thing a person who has yet to achieve the success they are hoping for needs to hear is that they’re a failure.

It’s always a good idea to think first before you speak.Some people say anything that comes to their mind without thinking first about how the other person will react. This has ruined many relationships because of a bad choice of words. Misunderstandings and arguments that could have easily been prevented if neutral or non-offensive words had been used get escalated to the point where someone’s feelings get hurt and can lead to a break in the relationship.

There are some parents who use fear as a way to motivate their children. They’ll say, “You’re a complete failure. Why can’t you be more like your brother. You’re a disgrace to the family.”

I don’t know about you, but those statements would only motivate me to sulk in a corner somewhere. Fear as motivation only creates anger and hatred. What children really need is inspiration. Choosing words that make them feel valued and loved will do a lot more to encourage growth and achievement than belittling them with harsh words that could put them into a shell.

It might even be good to give them qualities they do not yet possess. Building their confidence will work wonders and you may be surprised at how much they will improve if they firmly believe they have the ability to do so.

Another situation to avoid is comparing qualities of one person to another.

Years ago when I first entered the workforce, I had a boss who loved to do just that. He’d say, “Joe does a lot better job than you. He doesn’t make mistakes like you do.”

He thought he was motivating me to do a better job, but I was crushed. It hurt my feelings and lowered my self esteem and actually had the reverse effect on how I did the job. I was more motivated to find a better job than to work for a boss who had little understanding of how to really motivate his workers.

Words are powerful. They can build up or tear down. Good relationships depend on good communication. When you take care in how you choose your words, your relationships will benefit and you will create a more positive atmosphere around you.

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Glenn Cutforth is a writer, eBook publisher and graphic designer.

Visit his websites at: Self-Help and Wellness.com and The Complete Cat.com

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