Why do the Cheat?

How client’s story changed my whole business model.

Fact: The answer to the problem called infidelity has really has nothing to do with the myths about infidelity it is whole different issue.

Here is one example.. of my why

Over a year ago, I was talking to client who thought she was dealing with infidelity in her relationship. She gave the permission to share our conversation a bit but I did change the names to protect the innocent.

“Jane” has been a business coaching client of mine from DC and we met in 2005. Originally our relationship was only supposed last for 90 days for her business but the but our productivity was so effective and our connection so very resonate that she put me on contract for year.

It was in late 2006 that I noticed that last several sessions she was not herself and her earnings were decreasing rapidly in less than 3 weeks. She said that she was overwhelmed with work the kids and life. I said “ok” but I knew it was deeper issue than busy-ness. This is woman that ran her business fulltime and was make 6 figures, had 2 children and was a steady volunteer in her community while looking good all the time.

Something else was going on. I knew it but I waited for her tell me the truth about was going on with her.

You see, over the years when I see a women loose the ability to juggle all the balls, as we do famously, I know there was a injury somewhere else, her heart must be broken or sick. That stops us as women from flowing through our tasks and causes us to push through it.

After the forth week of her “money being funny” I finally said to her,

“my love, at this rate, you are going to be in trouble for the holidays, Whatever is going on is cost you thousands in profit monthly. Talk to me

Well, Jane knew my background was in crisis counseling and that I have been working with relationship breakdowns as it regards to family and business for over 10 years.

She, finally she broke down. She said, “this is stupid and feel so out of control, but I have not been able to concentrate since I found out

I mean I think it is true

I have evidence..

I was chimed in What Jane What?

Her voice shaked and finally almost whispered Jake is cheating on me.

We were silent for moment. I asked, are you sure, is that true?

She said, all the signs are there ,Tina

I replied, Did you confront him?

She nodded and began to give me an account of the last 6 weeks of her confronting, him denying and being so frustrated because how he was able to make her feel guilty for even bringing it up.

She said,

Tina I can’t work, I can not pray, I can not even concentrate on the kids.

He Is doing something, somewhere else and I can not prove it. I try to tell myself it is my mind. It is drama like he says. Besides all black men cheat right?

I asked is that what you believe? and she just sighed and said NO.

She Continued to say: That she feels betrayed, that she can not believe anything he says now and most of all her confidence in herself is just not there.

Her final words in that session was filled with emotion and asked Tina, what is wrong with me, why doesn’t he want me?

We both cried for a moment and I said to her something that not only began to change the conversation and her outlook on love and trust. But it deeply effected the way I coach.

I said sweetie, you are not the issue here, he is not even the issue here there has been a breakdown somewhere and together we are going to get to bottom of it lets pray together for clarity

We began to meeting twice a week to pray and get clear about the situation and then began to include Jake on the discussions and found out a few things.

1. Her husband was not sleeping with anyone but he was in danger of being pushed into an affair.

2. Jane was the one who actually was cheating.

3. There are somethings we believe as women, Black Women that cause us not to trust anyone, even our selves.

4. There was infidelity in her marriage before she said I do just because of cultural considerations.

5. And there is a way to avoid and recover from actual infidelity with loosing your mind and going to jail over it.

Now their relationship is stronger than ever. Thank God and it changed the way I coach and look at every viable partnership, in life or business forever. Here were some of her results.

1. Their communication is peaceful and not confrontational,

2. their intimacy not just sex, has gone to places that she is even embarrassed to discuss publicly,

3. and most important they both feel whole and accepted by eachother as individuals.

Since then I started to work with more and more individuals and couples in this area and found out a few things put them in this program:

1. What is infidelity?

2. who is vulnerable?

3. why does it occur?

4. what are myths and facts and

5. how do you recover from the pain it?

I put it this all in 5, 15-30 minute audios with a workbook for $8.95 as a self coaching program for those who ready to Get the Truth about very intimate issue privately.

Download your copy today.

Tina Boursiquot, MCC

http://www.Whydotheycheat.com